i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
