yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Randomize
