By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
