I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
