can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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