It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
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