he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
