If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
