i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
