If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
