I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
