as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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