What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
