So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
