i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
