4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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