He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
