And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Enjoy the penises
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
