so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
