I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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