I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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