My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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