Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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