she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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