I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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