We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
