Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I know her cup size but not her name....
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
