Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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