i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
