MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
