Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
