My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
