I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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