You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
