i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize