he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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