Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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