I can't watch pbs sober anymore
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
