Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
