I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I will be naked everywhere
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
