Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
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