the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
i think im in europe. pls send help
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
