Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
do herpes really smell.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
