we're blogging at a bar
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
