Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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