There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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