so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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