Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
