All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
