So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
