I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
