I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
