how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
