Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
