DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
