i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
