So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize