you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
