Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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