As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
