I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
