why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
