the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
