how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize