I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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