just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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