Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
