Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
