I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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