he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
