Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
