Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
