it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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