I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize